I felt prompted to share with you, the place I have been in these past few months, I want to be transparent with you all by exposing my imperfections and struggle. Transparency is key and I believe God wants me to share the word He gave me in this season. This post is not like my usual posts, however I think in it’s own way it is just as neccessary to encourage those who resonate with place I’m in.
I am now approaching my 25th birthday and I have been reflecting on my life ( yes I know its not that old) . Suddenly old goals and memories of what I envisioned my life would be like by the time I reached this age, all came to mind. Do you remember those dreams and conversations you had with friends when you were 16/18 about where you would be by time you reached your mid twenties. It does make me smile, there was a sense of naivity that came with it. Setting out the time frames for the normal themes: buying my first home, getting married , having kids, travelling and making big movements in my career.
I have felt unhappy with how things are at the moment, a big factor which has got me down is my job. I have never felt so up and down in a role before, it is a rewarding but such an emotionally taxing role and especially when you are just trying to process your own life events. It can feel very overwhelming at times. I hate the impact it has on my mood at times and I do feel bad talking to God about it as I want to be that person who is content within any season regardless of what I’m doing. But I must admit these past few months have been a struggle to keep smiling and praisinng through it.
I did not like the way I was allowing the environments I am in, determine my attitude. As I do feel as christians we are Christ’s light bearers and through allowing God to use us as His vessels darkness should be expelled. But in reality I did/do feel it was beginning to have its toll on me. I was getting to the point where I just could not even be bothered to wake up and attend my responsibilities anymore, I was tired of pretending I was happy. To make it worse I have been applying for jobs for a while which I know I am capable of doing. I was becoming frustrated with God because it just didn’t seem to matter the impact of my circumstances were having on me but cleary God had other plans.
Then this scripture just kept coming to me:
Do not say, “Why were the former days better than these ?” For you do not inquire wisely concerning this.
Ecclesiastes 7: 10
Not going to lie, God was reaching out to me in many ways, but I just kept resulting back to the same thing, asking God to remove me from the situation because of how I was feeling. Then I had this light bulb moment where this verse spoke directly to me and shifted my prayer pattern away from take me away to help me Lord to see your will for me in this situation.
Before I go on, I want to share with you what makes me refuse to give up and keeps me going each day regardless of the inner battle I face. God is good and His intentions for my life are pure and not of evil, He is always working everything together for my good regardless of what I think, feel or see. God is with me through every season, He is for me and not against me, He can handle our honesty and us bearing our truth.
As you grow in your walk with God you start to learn to trust His promises over what you see in the natural. Your faith keeps you going as you cling to His promises and take things day by day, you start to see you can bear so much more than you thought you ever could.
What I have learned in this season:
- Your not always going to find every season pleasant to your flesh but it does not mean that God is not doing something which is required for you or the people He wants to reach through you.
- You have to make sure your filling yourself up spiritually from the fountain of life. Spending time with God in studying His word, prayer and worship, is required to sustain you.
- Every season is for a reason and if God has placed you there then he will most definatley help you.
- Look at your experiences through the light of God to enquire wisely.
- Learn and meditate on his promises and speak them over your life.
- Enquire wisely about what God wants from you.
- Remove the focus from how you feel to who God is and the characteristics of God.
Accept the way God does things for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.
Ecclessiates 7: 13-14
I would love to tell you, that now I have found this job with an amazing pay rise and finally able to buy my first place. In due season, OF COURSE! Amen!! But this is not the case right now. I have just recognised, I need to spend more time with God to draw from his strength and need to ask for help to do His will. Still learning how to not allow the environments I enter to dictate the way I feel.
Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.
There has been some amazing testimonies from these past few months of how much God has moved on my behalf and the young people I have been supporting through a difficult time. The fruit which has been produced in this season is beyond words. It’s not always going to be about making you feel ‘happy’ but God does promises us peace and joy which is far greater than a temporary emotion.
Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the earth and the world, from beginning to end, You are God.
Jesus replied, ‘ You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.’ John 13:7
Things will work in your favour, you just have to keep on clinging to the promises of God. This post is dedicated to those people who are depressed or just feeling low. There are aspects you learn in valleys about you and the characteristics of God, which you wouldn’t in a ‘good’ season. There is a stripping process which takes place, you start to appreciate God as the person rather than the giver of things. Instead you get to experience a peace that surpases all understanding and a comfort that touches you in unexpected ways. Remember God is immovable and will never leave you.